From A Spark To A Song –
À Ces Matins Sans Âme…

4. “À Ces Matins Sans Âme… ”

“As I first envisioned the idea of giving life to “Vague Souvenir”, I couldn’t imagine how personal and intimate of an album it would become. I couldn’t expect how honestly exposed I would offer myself, neither how emotionally real and uninhibited every word would be, or how much of a true story driven by every drop of sound would recklessly incarnate. Somehow, I guess my profound unselfconsciousness allowed me to unfold what had been kept bonded for so long deep inside of me. As much as I know that if I only had a little idea of the real affective implication of such an unrepressed and consumed project, I would have probably tamed its blooming whisper for its long remorseful self-abandonment spirit to ever find amnesty. I would have doubtlessly softened its tone by dimming the bright light of what desperately needed to be exposed under the luminescence of my desires to uncompromisingly “be”. I would have tinted the vibrant colors of the secret feelings I kept denying for so long. I would have condemned such a pure album to be produced rather than be embodied.

Therefore, my only vision for “Vague Souvenir” was to share the genuineness of the words’ true personification and the sincerity by which I would earnestly actualize them. I wasn’t too concerned about any judgmental public scrutiny, since my conception of “Vague Souvenir” was totally denuded of any successful ambitions and any commercial pretensions. This assumed acknowledgment led me to the unfoldment of what would ultimately define the unique character of the album’s spirit, and to what would bloom into being so much more than words and sounds, all originating in the stammering vulnerability expressed in what would be known as “À Ces Matins Sans Âme”. Read More »

Vague Souvenir –
Soulless Mornings, Grey Life

It would be hard for me to forget that first poem in French that Alex sent me. A simple email, not too many words, with an attached piece. Then a text message, making sure I had received the email.

I didn’t need more. The name of the attached file, in French, grabbed my attention pretty quickly. And so did the text. The more I read, the colder I felt. It was spring though, when I read it for the first time, and it wasn’t cold at all. But reading those words, I couldn’t help but feel empty. Empty and lonely. As if something that was very important, very dear to me, had just disappeared. Ripped away, leaving a hole.

I didn’t know the text was meant to appear on ”Vague Souvenir”. I didn’t know it was meant to become a song. Alex always wrote a lot, and usually sends me these words he gives life to. And around this time, I was gathering some of his texts together, for a poetry book. But it could have been a song, as well as a poem, as well as just words he wrote in the spur of the moment. I didn’t know… The only thing I knew is that it was giving me a feeling I had avoided all my life. I did not want to feel alone. I did not want to be alone. All my life, I had avoided getting too close to people around me, making sure they couldn’t really reach me on a deeper level either. Not because I didn’t want to… But because I knew I wouldn’t be able to stand the pain it would cause me to be betrayed, to be lied to, to be left aside. “If you do not want to fail, never try”. I did not want to take any risks. I did not want to be hurt. Friendship was not worth it. Love was not worth it. Read More »

From A Spark To A Song –
Turn The Dirt Over

3. “Turn The Dirt Over”

“However much I would have loved to keep my state of grieving sorrows away from the people I cared so much about, however much I would have fought to keep my ornamental crown of vulnerability hidden from my accusers’ judgmental abuse, however much I would have kept denying my self-afflicted resignation and my bitter fatalism from my weary dejected self, I knew, somehow, that as long as I could see the morning lights, as long as I could feel the breeze of the first daylight, I knew I would be able to hide. I wouldn’t be able to fight, nor would I be able to deny. I knew… I knew I would drench my mourning spirit in the epiphanic luminosity of every new dawn, that whatever illusion I would feed myself with, I would immerse my affliction in that thanksgiving abundance of mercy, I would submerge my self-imposed melancholy in that quenching indulgence of everlasting and fulfilling love and grace. I knew… As much as I knew that I was collapsing on the other side of the mirror, on that very same side where you become the soulless reflection of someone you quite don’t recognize anymore and where you’re no longer able to differentiate reality from your own delusional infatuations… Read More »

Vague Souvenir – Behind The Dirt

One cold day in March, a usual day, a day like every other, filled with its share of the unexpected, I was sitting in front of my computer trying to find something to listen to. You know those days when you don’t even feel like listening to your favorite songs, the classics you can listen to over and over again without ever having enough of them? Well, that day was one of those for me… So I turned to Alex in search of something new to listen to. This guy has more albums in his iTunes library than many record stores keep in inventory nowadays – and you have to know that not all of the albums he owns are in his iTunes! I asked him what he was listening to lately, and he answered me “Sea Wolf”. I had never heard of this band before. Had no idea what kind of music it was. So I looked up Sea Wolf on YouTube… There were too many songs from which to choose. I mean, when you listen to a band for the first time, you want to get that first good impression. You don’t want to listen to just any song that comes up. So I asked Alex for more details. What album are you listening to right now? What song? “White Water, White Bloom” he said, the song is “Turn The Dirt Over”. Read More »

From A Spark To A Song – Firstborn

2. “Firstborn”

From all the emotions defining the album “Vague Souvenir”, the ones that unexpectedly emerged from the song “Firstborn” have been the most difficult and painful to personally embrace, deeply embody and publicly assume. Words and sounds unfolded themselves in an undeniable truth; no matter how deep I had buried some of the most personal and intimate of all emotional distress and sorrows, even the most shadowing of all wandering darkness wouldn’t be able to veil a desperate heart and grieving soul from the redeeming light of a sincere whisper for mercy and grace. As much as “Mightiest Of Guns” had been the honest nature by which “Vague Souvenir” would be founded, “Firstborn” has been the soulful essence of absolution the album’s journey would be about…

It’s no secret, especially if you are familiar with my affection towards scribbling mystical words and my propensity to use liturgical symbolism, that I have always been intrigued by the measure of faith implicitly involved in the personal beliefs and spiritual convictions of conceptual doctrines defining the likes of High Principles such as mercy, redemption, forgiveness and salvation, only to mention a few… all elements of a profound interrogational journey I have been exploring since childhood from which some of my lyrics and other pieces of poetry are inspired from, reflected by and referring to (the lyrics of Final Fantasy theme song “The Messenger” being metaphorically about the Passover). Read More »

If you have to be…

This week, we introduce you to the song “Firstborn”, the second transit on this special journey called Vague Souvenir. Performed live on the set of the Bla Bla Bla: The Live Show on June 3rd, as the journey was only beginning, this song had yet to make us travel to various other places. This blog doesn’t aim at giving you any explanation of what “Firstborn” should be, but simply to provide you with some different personal perspectives about the song… A song can never be fully defined… You may examine and analyze the words, the notes, the melodies, but emotions are not bent to any logical explanation… In this blog, I present you how life changing the song has been for me… Read More »