From A Spark To A Song –
À Ces Matins Sans Âme…

4. “À Ces Matins Sans Âme… ”

“As I first envisioned the idea of giving life to “Vague Souvenir”, I couldn’t imagine how personal and intimate of an album it would become. I couldn’t expect how honestly exposed I would offer myself, neither how emotionally real and uninhibited every word would be, or how much of a true story driven by every drop of sound would recklessly incarnate. Somehow, I guess my profound unselfconsciousness allowed me to unfold what had been kept bonded for so long deep inside of me. As much as I know that if I only had a little idea of the real affective implication of such an unrepressed and consumed project, I would have probably tamed its blooming whisper for its long remorseful self-abandonment spirit to ever find amnesty. I would have doubtlessly softened its tone by dimming the bright light of what desperately needed to be exposed under the luminescence of my desires to uncompromisingly “be”. I would have tinted the vibrant colors of the secret feelings I kept denying for so long. I would have condemned such a pure album to be produced rather than be embodied.

Therefore, my only vision for “Vague Souvenir” was to share the genuineness of the words’ true personification and the sincerity by which I would earnestly actualize them. I wasn’t too concerned about any judgmental public scrutiny, since my conception of “Vague Souvenir” was totally denuded of any successful ambitions and any commercial pretensions. This assumed acknowledgment led me to the unfoldment of what would ultimately define the unique character of the album’s spirit, and to what would bloom into being so much more than words and sounds, all originating in the stammering vulnerability expressed in what would be known as “À Ces Matins Sans Âme”. Read More »

Vague Souvenir –
Soulless Mornings, Grey Life

It would be hard for me to forget that first poem in French that Alex sent me. A simple email, not too many words, with an attached piece. Then a text message, making sure I had received the email.

I didn’t need more. The name of the attached file, in French, grabbed my attention pretty quickly. And so did the text. The more I read, the colder I felt. It was spring though, when I read it for the first time, and it wasn’t cold at all. But reading those words, I couldn’t help but feel empty. Empty and lonely. As if something that was very important, very dear to me, had just disappeared. Ripped away, leaving a hole.

I didn’t know the text was meant to appear on ”Vague Souvenir”. I didn’t know it was meant to become a song. Alex always wrote a lot, and usually sends me these words he gives life to. And around this time, I was gathering some of his texts together, for a poetry book. But it could have been a song, as well as a poem, as well as just words he wrote in the spur of the moment. I didn’t know… The only thing I knew is that it was giving me a feeling I had avoided all my life. I did not want to feel alone. I did not want to be alone. All my life, I had avoided getting too close to people around me, making sure they couldn’t really reach me on a deeper level either. Not because I didn’t want to… But because I knew I wouldn’t be able to stand the pain it would cause me to be betrayed, to be lied to, to be left aside. “If you do not want to fail, never try”. I did not want to take any risks. I did not want to be hurt. Friendship was not worth it. Love was not worth it. Read More »