Vague Souvenir – First Day Of My Life
This is the first day of my life
I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you
But now I don’t care I could go anywhere with you
And I’d probably be happy
When the first 2 notes were played on the set of the ”Bla Bla Bla: The Live Show”, on June 3rd, I immediately knew what song it was. I couldn’t be wrong on this one. I know its every note, its every word, its every pause… In a way, this song was a gift the band was offering me, knowing how meaningful it had been for me, and how it accompanied me through every moment of my life…
This song is one I discovered through Alex as I was still going to university, before I moved in with the band and started working with them full time. Not that I disliked university or anything – I have always liked school and always had good grades… But somehow, I knew that this wasn’t what I wanted to do. I knew I was doing it only half-heartedly… and half is way too generous for the effort and heart I was investing in it at the time. And then this song came to me…
That song has always been very meaningful to me, from the very first time I listened to it. I listened to it so much it probably is impossible to even count up to that number… You know, when I like a song, I am the type to put it on repeat. I usually get bored after a few weeks, but this one, I never grew tired of it. I don’t know… There was something special to it.
Simple music, unpretentious, with words just as simple and unpretentious, raw and honest. This song, somehow, was giving me the words I lacked to explain what I wanted… What I believed in. My desire to work with the band. To start everything anew. I was witnessing my life going in a direction I did not want it to go. Not a bad direction, just a direction that wasn’t the one I wanted to take. It was going straight in front of me, but I badly desired a drastic change. I badly desired to turn right or left, to explore things I had never experienced before… I wanted every morning to be “the first day of my life”, where nothing could be predicted, where everything was unexpected. I was bored with this repetitive life and had lost interest in it. I wanted something different. I wanted to open my eyes to the wonders that were supposed to be all around me, but that my eyes grew used to and couldn’t distinguish anymore. I wanted to be amazed at everything that happened as if it was my first time… I was sick of that same life over and over again. I wanted something new. Something different. And this is what “First Day Of My Life” offered me…
The courage to take that step forward. To do what I wanted with my life. To stop university so I could work with the band. To turn my life around, and to stop that continuous line that was ahead of me, where I could see everything slowly turning grey, where shapes were too soft to be defined and the scenery too blurry to be described…
I am reading this blog again… and again… and can’t help but think that there is something missing… But after looking at it for hours, listening to the song on repeat, I guess that there are many things this song still wants to show me, to teach me… Though I know it by heart, maybe there is still something I don’t fully grasp about it… But one thing is for sure, this song, though an important part of my very own journey, occupies today an important part of who I am.
– Stephanie
PS: It’s funny, writing this blog, after only a few lines, my vision got blurry because of the water in my eyes… I am happy that there’s not a lot of people in the office right now… lol! That’s what that song is to me… Still a little too vivid to explain clearly… 😉
Comments (4)
Ben
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Steph has always been in the center of everything that we’re doing and if we want to be honest, she saved the band many times by her courage, her love and devotion. Even if she’s terribly secretive lol… you can see that inside of her is a powerful stream of life and love. So for us, to offer a song like that for her birthday was the least we could do just to manifest our love to her and to show how grateful we are that she’s living this crazy adventure with us. For me, family is more than your bloodline… it’s the choice you make to love no matter what the circumstances are, it’s the commitment you have to protect, to care, to accept and to forgive. This song always reminds me of my little sis!!!
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Chris
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First day of my life comes right after ”À Ces Matins Sans Âme” on the album…I guess it’s no coincidence… Hope coming right after a difficult time…
It’s interesting to hear that this song meant so much to you, music has the power to be our companion through everything, expressing what we feel inside by sounds and words. I didn’t know that this Bright Eyes song was the courage you needed to turn your life around, I am glad to see that it is now on the album.
Now it can accompany others that go through the same in their lives.
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Marjo
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I was talking about it with a friend of mine earlier this week…of how special it is to have a song dedicated to you…whether for the meaning that the song has for you, or just for the fact that someone thought of you while preparing the surprise! To me, it’s indescribably beautiful!! And I’m happy for you Stephanie, that the guys have dedicated this song to you, not only as a birthday present, but can you imagine that this song is taking place on an album?? I believe it has its perfect place on there, since you’ve been a driving force of Your Favorite Enemies, since its very beginning!! You’ve been dedicated to making this band what it is today, and I know that this faithfulness of yours and strong faith in the band and its activities will only keep on growing stronger and deeper through time! Thank you for your heart and dedication!! May this song be for you, a constant reminder of this beautiful path you’ve decided to take for your life, for the greater good of all!!
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Anna
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Thank you Stephanie for sharing your heart in such a way!! I have heard this song by the original artist before and although I liked it, I never really paid much attention to it. But that day the song was played during the show, and I looked in your direction and saw tears in your eyes… I couldn’t control mine… Tears of happiness, tears of being profoundly moved… I had never seen you like that. I must say that right after the show I listened to the song on repeat wanting to know more about it, wanting to discover more about you. It’s crazy how you can learn so much about a person through a song that has been an inspiration to them… I have the privilege to be by your side everyday… and to witness you living everyday as if it was ”the first day of your life”.. thank you for being an open door and a daily inspiration for me… For showing me that even though some days even if ” I don’t know where I am… I don’t know where I’ve been” nothing of that matters as long as ”I know where I want to go”
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