Vague Souvenir – Behind The Dirt
One cold day in March, a usual day, a day like every other, filled with its share of the unexpected, I was sitting in front of my computer trying to find something to listen to. You know those days when you don’t even feel like listening to your favorite songs, the classics you can listen to over and over again without ever having enough of them? Well, that day was one of those for me… So I turned to Alex in search of something new to listen to. This guy has more albums in his iTunes library than many record stores keep in inventory nowadays – and you have to know that not all of the albums he owns are in his iTunes! I asked him what he was listening to lately, and he answered me “Sea Wolf”. I had never heard of this band before. Had no idea what kind of music it was. So I looked up Sea Wolf on YouTube… There were too many songs from which to choose. I mean, when you listen to a band for the first time, you want to get that first good impression. You don’t want to listen to just any song that comes up. So I asked Alex for more details. What album are you listening to right now? What song? “White Water, White Bloom” he said, the song is “Turn The Dirt Over”. So there I had the first song, and then the complete album to listen to. But wait, he tells me, for your first song, you should listen to “Dew In The Grass”. Even better! And there started my discovery of Sea Wolf… It didn’t last too long, as the following days I was not in front of my computer much… Sea Wolf was then forgotten for a short while. Until we started talking about the upcoming Bla Bla Bla, the live performance the band would do on the brand new set we built for the sole purpose of those performances, and what song would be performed… And it is then that the name “Sea Wolf” resurfaced. Alex wanted to do a cover of a song from that band. He was hesitating between 2 songs though, “O Maria” and “Turn The Dirt Over”. But somehow, because of the set (and many other reasons I can only try to guess), the guys thought that “Turn The Dirt Over” was more appropriate for the live performance.
I clearly remember the time we listened to the album in the café. First on vinyl, more than once; while talking, while having a coffee, while eating. For several days, Sea Wolf had been the only music that played in the café. Over and over again, and we all enjoyed it. When you hear music that is real, that is honest, that is pure, you cannot doubt it and there is something that is very compelling about it… You want to listen to it again and again. You want to get that spark of truth; you want to make it your own too…
And then when the song was settled and well known by the band members, it was time for the arrangements. This is what I like about Your Favorite Enemies… even when they do covers of other bands, you cannot doubt that they bring their very own sound into the songs. The song is not just a copy of the original anymore, it’s the interpretation of the feelings they had as they listened to the original artist pour out his heart into the song. It’s not about copying and reproducing perfectly something that already exists. It’s about living the song for what it is. It’s about themselves, about their own feelings and emotions through the song and how they can translate this into music. And you know, the guys are passionate, so it leads to pretty heated conversations. They’re not arguing, they’re not mad, but each and every one of them want to make their point come across. I mean, it’s emotions we’re talking about, so there’s no wrong or right anyway, and they do know that…
Then on April 22nd, it was time for the live performance… The very first one on the new set of the Bla Bla Bla, the first of many performances to follow. A soulful, touching moment that gathered many people who watched it live, as well as many people who downloaded for free this special moment once it was over… And I just LOVED the way the band played it. It gave me shivers the first time I listened to it, and every time after that as well. The red carpet, the bright lights gave a warm feeling to a song that otherwise reminded me of losing something precious, someone dear… And then, around the end of the song, it all becomes so intense… Alex’s screams are somehow conveying a strange sense of peace and harmony…Like an outburst of freedom, all of a sudden…
After the performance, Alex said that it was a song about losing someone and having the courage to live again… And that is exactly how this interpretation makes me feel like. To live with the feeling of having lost something precious to you, not only someone, it is something that is never easy to do… And this feeling of losing myself, of not knowing who I am anymore, I have had it more than once… As if the one I saw “running like a summer flame, running through the grass turning gold to black” was me. The despair of seeing me losing myself without being able to do anything… until I gain the courage to live again, to find myself again for who I am, from a spark that comes just as suddenly as Alex screams during the song, a spark I am unable to define but that is real nonetheless… This is “Turn The Dirt Over” for me… where the dirt is too often the excuse I gave for what I refused to see with my own eyes: hope, truth and life.
– Stephanie
PS: As I just finished writing this blog, reading it over again and wondering what this song means for all of you, I can hear in the background someone, somewhere in the house listening to that very same song… I couldn’t help but smile…
Comments (14)
Jeff
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In my life… I made so many mistakes, I hurt so many people, and my bag of dark secrets and regrets is sometimes, in my mind, so full and heavy making every step forward hurtful and miserable. When I heard “Turn The Dirt Over” for the first time and knowing we’d play that song, I knew we would go through a lot of emotions, and like you said Steph, passionate moments!! Lol!! I always wanted to be courageous, facing life and situations like my childhood super heroes. Where at some point, the entire world is thanking you for simply existing and for bringing security and hopeback to the people! Well… lol… Where are the super powers when we need them?! Lol…
We can’t change the past, and that is one of the hardest things to accept and be freedfrom sometimes, and that is a truth I’m fighting against every single day of my life, like a dry land begging for rain. But that night so many things changed in my heart, as we were all there as one, not as Your Favorite Enemies but as Alex, Miss Isabel, Ben, Sef, Moose & I. Looking at each other in the eyes, deciding despite our fears and doubts to move on… Like when God told Lot not to look back as he was leaving Sodom, but to only look ahead even if we had nothing with us; every thing was left behind with the past… All of what’s left is faith, and the courage to live. To simply live as free individuals despite all the wounds we’re covered in because from now on, those wounds are being healed with every step we take, moving forward without looking back…! This is why I think that for all of us to simply be there, singing and playing that song was one of the greatest moments of courage I have ever witnessed!
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Stephanie
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I guess we all have regrets… Things we wish we never said, never done… But what truly matters is what’s ahead, as you said… And when it’s time to go forward, you’re always one of the first in the pack! So many things happened in this band it’s hard to believe it’s all true… That everything really happened… The good and the bad…
I had no idea that this specific moment, when you played ”Turn The Dirt Over” had been so meaningful for you… But I know for sure that your courage, your enthusiasm and your smile is one great encouragement for me every day…
Thank you for everything!!!!
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Moose
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I liked “Turn The Dirt Over” right from the first impression. Down to earth and genuine… This song is so deep, exposing such torments, sorrows and nostalgia and at the same time still bring the idea of tasting life again? Although it talks about the dreadful season we’re going through as we just lost a loved one, there’s a sense of peace coming through that song. To me it started with the music, the warmth of the voices and acoustic guitars… Far from any screams or musical explosions, from any theatrical and fake intensity to the tragedies life can sometimes bring. To me “Turn The Dirt Over” represents the serenity that can only come with being at peace. It’s when love takes over to bring grace and tenderness through hardships… I’m overwhelmed by the images and how delicate it can be to go from facing the “Window to the dark and the field of snow” to “Oh! open up the shutters, see the moonlight on the snow” Life and hope can bloom from the most fragile state of heart. I’m thankful for songs like “Turn The Dirt Over” as they bring sanity and inspiration through honesty.
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Stephanie
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It’s good to hear you talk about peace like this, Moose!!! And I think you are right… Peace is also an important element to this song. And something cruelly essential to our lives, too! Peace of mind, peace of soul, are things that will help us go through those tragedies we will face through time… And I think, if it wasn’t about the peace that resides in it, I wouldn’t like this song so much, I wouldn’t have listened to it so often either… That feeling of peace that everything will become alright, that will help us go through the worst tragedies of our lives, is a hint of hope to a song that is somewhat dark and sorrowful overall…
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Anna
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I remember that day when I passed by Alex’s office and I could hear him hum the melody of this song… I couldn’t make out all the words … but the ones that I did make out was the begin of the chorus that said ‘ Oh! Turn the dirt over’ … something about those simple words and that peaceful melody made me rush to my computer to find out more about these lyrics. After hearing the original version and reading the lyrics, I was blown away… The lyrics where so powerful and true and something I needed to hear… for me it wasn’t about losing someone, it was more about losing myself… and how too often I let myself ” run through the grass, turning gold to black” blinding myself with my despairs… and letting the shadows take over… After hearing this song… it kinda gave me that spark… that little push that said… ”Stop running, take courage, turn the dirt over it’s time to grow back again”
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Stephanie
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Thank you very much for sharing what this song means to you… I think that whether it’s about losing someone, losing ourselves, or something completely different, as long as this song resounds in our hearts that’s what truly matters, what really makes a difference… 🙂
And I am glad this song was able to give you that little push to take courage again, and to see the light… Cause light, as weak as it is, will always be stronger than darkness… Nothing can resist it, it will pierce through everything, as long as we allow it to… And this song is just the same…
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Ben
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That song, yes that song! I always had a little special something for this one, the melodies, the lyrics…everything. The first time we heard Sea Wolf we were like ”wow, finally a genuine artist amongst the pile of plastic crap.” I could really feel that the one who wrote this song really went through what it was to lose and choose to live again. A little later, we learned that the singer’s brother actually died. The honesty in the song really touched our hearts and we could relate to it a lot and for many different personal reasons.
I was laughing when I read Stephanie’s words, ” they’re not mad, they’re not arguing.” I’d love for her to see inside of us sometimes…lol!! Yes we argue, yes we fight, yes we trigger each other and it’s not only passion, we’re alive and that’s how life goes on…. with its contradictions, with its beauty, with faith and hope….with doubts and fears. This song is such a great reflection of how you choose to live no matter what…deciding to be free no matter what the circumstances are. When I look at the people around me, living the same fights and losses as me, that’s enough of a reason to stay alive and keep hoping that tomorrow everything starts all over again.
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Stephanie
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I know you do fight… With words, and with fists… I know you do argue… That’s because you’re real, and don’t want to be approved in any way, but just to expose how you feel, to expose your emotions… And somehow, when I see you “arguing”, well, it never looks like arguing. There is no right or wrong. Only a very passionate “this is how I feel about this and that”… 😉
But you know… Though there are things I wish I could take back, words I wish I could erase, actions I wish I could remove, I am glad nothing starts all over again the next day. I don’t want to be back at square one; I don’t want to lose who I am today, with the good things and the bad things that made me…
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Chris
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Back in the spring of 2012, every time I would enter in our studio-home church I was always intrigued by the rifs that Sef was playing on his guitar…I couldn’t recognize the song and I knew that a ”Bla Bla Bla: The Live Show” was coming up, I assumed that this song was for the live performance that the band had promised but still, I couldn’t help but feel really curious about the song…
The long kind of melancholic intro felt so melodic….so peaceful to me…For weeks and weeks, I had it on my mind and since I didn’t hear the final result until I saw the show, these rifs are still what I hear the most when I listen to it.
They accompanied me in a phase of my life that I remember being very significant. It’s like if for a moment, it became the soundtrack of what I was going through and still today, I feel peaceful as soon as ”Turn The Dirt Over” starts…I feel like I have a special connection with it and feel privileged that I heard it when it was still a skeleton…
I am no musician, but I sure can be moved by music and ”Turn The Dirt Over” and me have a very special story together…I am proud of the guys for doing music that is so real…Nothing is plastic, framed or fake… It’s all real and it changes me every time I hear them play…even while doing a quiet rehearsal of simple guitar rifs…
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Stephanie
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It sure is unbelievable to see what kind of relationship we can all have with music in general, and with specific songs, without being musicians ourselves… I have never been a musician myself, but music has moved me in more ways than I can imagine now, and I can say that nothing would ever be the same for me, if it wasn’t for music… 🙂
The songs’ honesty accompany us in different phases, and we completely open up to them, absorb them, just like we are too often afraid to do with the people surrounding us… 🙂 At least, that’s how I feel at times… 😉
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JadenV (Sean Fortner)
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For me, the song is about someone who sees the chaos the caused in their life (the gold to black) and the window as a mirror a wake up call saying, you have this light inside of you (the snow) and also this darkness, and its up to you to choose which shines brighter! The earth, or dirt, represents your soul and how one can turn it over and become a completely different person…. ( so given that) I see this song as ones inner-self calling out for change and crying out for empathy, for there is beauty in chaos. Much like a rainbow follows a storm. 🙂
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Stephanie
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Wow, Sean!!! Thank you very much for sharing with us what this song means to you!!! I always like how you image everything… It truly is inspiring!! And you are right… We have both darkness and light inside of us… And it is up to us to decide which we want to let shine brighter… That turn-over is never easy to do, but never impossible, as this light is always somewhere inside of us… 🙂
Thank you for taking the time to comment, Sean, means a lot to me!!!
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Marjo
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I still remember that moment when, a very good friend of mine and myself, were searching to find out more about “Sea Wolf”…the very same night of the “Bla Bla Bla”…We had been hypnotized by the guys performance of this song, earlier in the day!! We caught some of the lyrics and the melody was still floating in our heads and hearts…So, we definitely had to find out more about that song!! And in my I-tunes, the original version of this song, as well as Your Favorite Enemies’ brilliant cover has pretty much equally played so far!!! Haha! And I must admit that it played…A LOT!! Actually, I like both versions, for different reasons…but to me, one thing resides crystal clear…the lyrics…the poignant meaning of this song just strikes right into my heart! This song came along in a period of my life…where I definitely had to “Turn The Dirt Over…To Grow Back Again”…in various ways!! And I’m more than grateful for Your Favorite Enemies, Alex and you Stephanie…(as well as my dear friend kept secret in this comment)…for enabling me to add this song to the soundtrack of my life…in a very simple but memorable way!! 🙂 I love you…my dear companions!! 🙂
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Stephanie
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Thank you very much for sharing what this song is for you… I guess we all have times like this… Where we need “to turn the dirt over”, in order to grow back again… In order to find ourselves again… In order to be…And though it has been added to the soundtrack of your life for this very specific period of time, I am sure that song will reveal itself to you in different ways in different periods… Same song, different periods, different meanings… But one thing is for sure… That soundtrack of yours is only beginning, and I am definitely looking forward to knowing what other songs will become meaningful to you!!!!
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