Vague Souvenir – Old Noisy Friend

July 4th, 2012

Vague Souvenir, O.N.F

Today has been a crazy day for me… I needed to go out, and planned on coming back to the studio around 11pm, at best. Well, that is, until the guys told me that they would start the recording of the song O.N.F at 9pm. And somehow, I knew, I just knew, that I needed to be there. I wanted to be there…

This song has never appeared before on any of the albums from the band… They wanted to, but finally changed their minds. Not because it wasn’t good. To the contrary. There is something very special about this song, more than words can say… But the other songs won over it. I guess it’s because the song was so emotionally close to Alex, and especially, that they all lacked courage to face what it truly meant. Like an open wound that you do not wish to expose once more… At least, it is how I felt about this song… But getting back to it for the “Vague Souvenir” album was an incredibly daring move, yet so full of self-confidence. Just as if finally, the wound had been closed, healed, but left a scar… A scar that will always be there, as a reminder of what happened, of what they experienced, of who they were… But that does not define them anymore… Something that is part of them, without “being” them…

We all have these… These scars… Some are old, so old that you can barely notice them anymore… Maybe no one else will… I looked at my hands, they bare numerous little scars, minor scratches and hurts, and I could still remember clearly what caused them… They are in no way different from the scars left behind on our hearts… They are painful reminders of how we’ve overcome difficult times, and how we went from victims to survivors.

As they started recording, this is exactly how I felt… From a song that was about times of profound despairs, what filled the church became a wonderful symphony of freedom, echoing emotions, swarming around each other, sometimes colliding in conflict, but always true, real and honest…

We can never change what has happened… But we can let the wound heal, accepting the pain that comes with it or simply lick it to appease it… it’s up to us. There is always an open hand stretched out towards us. And somehow, this is what Your Favorite Enemies has been for me, and so many others… An open hand I could hold on to when I thought the pain was inhuman… Some scars are still wide open. Others have healed. But they all are part of who I am today…

Comments (1)

  • Marjo


    Thank you Stephanie, for opening up about the meaning of this song for you… though it made me sad to know that hurt and pain, has been part of your life journey!! I wish no one would have to go trough that… but at the same time, I’m at peace with this sad reality of life… knowing that those hurts, once healed… are turning into scars that can be a wonderful reminder of what we’ve been able to go through… as they no longer define us as victims, but enable us to keep in mind that we can become whom ever we want… It’s just like this sentence I took from a song which I really like that says : “and in the end, the pain and hurt… looks less like scars, but more like character”… I’m grateful for music and its ability to be a healer and a companion… As much as I’m honored to have you Stephanie, as a friend and inspiration!!


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